I Am

Oh,  L O U D  Joy.
Music lavished with culture 
Instrument crowding the song 
Melodía
Quick.       Rápido.
Strong. FUERTE.
laughter
cheers, chatter 
Fused to the rhythm of
My people     
Dancing with passion
No matter the troubles battled.
       Oh,  Deep Affections
Rifts in   mi   f a m i l i a.  
Fights and conversation 
I don’t understand
Silent words 
              GRITANDO
the stickiness of barley dried tears
comforting wails of regret and apologies. 
                  I cause lament
Anger and frustration.
A sickening smell of
                                  alcohol
back and forth, ma then papá 
Not knowing why
                      I cry 
          I Take for granted all I have
The quiet that comes after the storm. 
     Oh, Quiet Bliss.
A specific sweet scent 
of light pink roses.
Creaky stairs, floors, and doors. 
Sunlight from my mother’s window, 
The     e x p a n s i v e n e s s   of her b e d
The orange and 
magenta of a setting sun. 
Long car rides 
packed
From       Texas 
 to 
New York
dreaming on another’s shoulder
blissful sleep.
The cool air
glistening lights
Warm embraces abounding con amor. 
Existing    juntos. 
     Oh, Bittersweet Being.
Reflections of memories, of feelings and sensation 
All I have felt
thought, done,
and seen
collection always growing.
Loud joy, 
deep afflictions 
quiet bliss
All I am 
Todo lo que soy
Such bittersweet being.